As you may already know, parents have a major responsibility to help shape and guide their children so they can be the best version of themselves, as well as live a full and happy life. Fathers are sometimes portrayed as ‘the other parent’ and we often see this in the media, from storylines in television programmes to social media posts.
This portrayal of fathers being the parent that is never really around, not as involved as much as the mother or just completely out of the children’s lives, is a reality for some and a typical backstory for main characters in films that sell. However, it can be extremely upsetting for fathers who are proactive in their children’s lives and are fed up with this stereotype, especially fathers from the Black communities.
We have already written a blog on the consequences of a fatherless home, and how that impacts young people and their life choices.
However, there are many fathers who love being role models to their children, and who constantly work hard to encourage and protect their children. There are also many men who would love the opportunity to be a father or act as a father figure to young people in their lives (maybe in schools or youth and sports clubs as mentors). A father or father figure benefits the young person’s life in more ways than most people realise.
To keep this blog short and sweet, we have listed 5 ways fathers positively impact young people.
- Boost confidence
Believe it or not, young people are more confident to express themselves and their personalities if they have an encouraging father at home. Fathers help young boys learn about their bodies and have the answers to questions that mothers may struggle with answering. This gives the young boy reassurance and the confidence to go through puberty and have some understanding of his emotions, so they can be more controlled. Craig Pinkney (Criminologist, Urban Youth Specialist and Visiting Lecturer) stated in a webinar that boys between 12-18 years old, who have grown up without a father begin to show signs of an exaggerated masculinity, because if they have not had constant male influence in their life, they learn and adapt how men should be from other influences that may be harmful in the long haul.
For young girls, in a world that already projects beauty standards onto them before they even hit puberty is tough. Fathers help many young girls’ self-esteem and also sets an example for them, as well as the boys on how women should be treated by a man. In the Social Factors to Youth Crime and Gang Violence webinar by Craig Pickney, he said “research suggests that from the ages of 18, women start to show the effects from not having a consistent, positive male influence in their life.” And most issues women without father’s or father figures tend to face are around relationships, especially when choosing or accepting the appropriate relationship.
- Provide security
Having two parents provides extra security as ideally two lots of income will be coming into the home. Two parents at home create stability for young people, as there is twice the nurture and twice the protection. It helps keep the balance where the adults are not overworked, but the children are not overlooked, leading to better school performance than other children who may only have one parent at home.
- Emotional support
Like the previous points above, a father can provide emotional support from the perspective of a man. Fathers or father figures can provide emotional support as well as advice and help young people navigate life experiences in school and outside of school. The families of the parents, in an ideal world, would also give the young person an opportunity to access more extra emotional support. Teaching the young person to be honest and brave when acknowledging and speaking about their emotions as well as encourages great mental health.
- Role model – aspirations, encourage dreams and standards
Children want to impress their parents, and research has shown that a lot of children want to impress their fathers. Fathers or father figures (such as teachers, uncles or Godfathers) are automatically role models to the young people in their lives. How a father or the father figure behaves, influences how the young people who look up to them behave. For a boy, having a male role model is crucial to helping him create his own identity and motivate him to reach his dreams, rather than being unsure about his identity, which makes him vulnerable to being easily led down a different path. For young girls, male role models help them form their opinion of men and encourage them to recognise their worth.
I personally really struggled with my self-esteem growing up and had no idea how men should treat women, or when I should stand up for myself. I got into a toxic relationship and allowed my first boyfriend to treat me poorly because I believed it was normal. I had no male role model at the time and couldn’t understand why I was not happy. I opened up to the teachers I trusted at school and one of the male teachers hosted a meeting with me and my mother to talk about my confidence and self-esteem, as the relationship with my boyfriend was affecting my physical and mental health (which the teacher had noted from my behaviour). I truly believe that if it wasn’t for my teacher recognising how badly I was being treated and then educating me, I would not have had the confidence to stand up for myself and be as strong as I am today. I am truly grateful for my teacher.
- Encourages adventure
Fathers or father figures encourage the young people in their lives to be more adventurous. The father may have hobbies that he involves his children in that are different to the other parent, for example, different music genres or sports, art interests or clothing etc. This allows young people to be adventurous by exploring the world. It forces them to ask more questions, as well as get involved in activities that would give the young person a head start in life, as well as promoting healthy growth.
Of course, there are many more great benefits that we haven’t mentioned for having a present and active father in a young person’s life. Fathers and father figures are truly amazing and have shaped the lives of many young people. And as the children grow up, they impact the lives of future children around them and so on.
So we would like to just say thank you to all the fathers, father figures and male role models around the world for your hard work, guidance and positive influence on the young people in your life.
A message from the CEO- Teswal White
“Being a father is the greatest gift and the highest of honours a man can obtain in life. To help grow and raise another human being, and for that human being to look towards you for their guidance, love, support encouragement, protection and provision is something that can’t easily be put into words as that is a journey, but the satisfaction a father receives as a result of making that commitment is in watching that child or children become a reflection of himself.”
A wise man once said your children are a reflection of you!
Do you like what you see?
That quote is a question for all of us as both fathers and mothers, to reflect on the input we have in our children’s lives, or perhaps even to look at the way in which we conduct ourselves so that our children will see and follow, the quote implores us to look at our own reflection before we blame the children for the way they behave.
This question could also be asked at a wider societal level also, the children are a reflection of us, the wider society, do we like what we see?
