What is Sexual Abuse and Violence?
“Sexual Violence is a general term we use to describe any kind of unwanted sexual act or activity abuse, and many others.”
[This term is not exclusive to women only]
Signs of Sexual Abuse?
Sexual abuse can happen to both young boys and young girls. Knowing some of the signs of sexual abuse can really give young people a voice and support them in their most vulnerable time.
Some signs that a young person has been sexually abuse may be (but are not limited to):
- Urinary infections or sexually transmitted infections
- Is scared to be left alone with a certain person or purposely avoids them
- Withdraws from people all together – lives solitary
- Refusing to go to school
- Unexplained pregnancy
- Unexplained inappropriate knowledge about sex for their age
- Developing eating disorders / change in eating habits
- Trouble sleeping at night
- Anxiety
- Self-harm or attempts at suicide
- Being secretive and distancing themselves from friends and family
- In physical pain
There are many signs that can show that a young person has been sexually abused, a lot more than what is listed above. Those are just a few common examples. However, if the young person’s behaviour, appearance or attitude has rapidly changed, then speaking to them, keeping an eye on them and showing you are there, can encourage them to speak about what is happening.
Effects Sexual Abuse has on young victims?
One of the most profound effects sexual abuse has on young people is;
- Their inability to form close relationships with other people and maintain them.
It can affect survivors for the rest of their lives, especially finding it difficult to talk about their experiences to others. This makes it hard for anyone to help or understand – causing emotional barriers not just for the survivor but for friends, families and partners too. Inability or finding it very hard to trust anyone also has its effects on a survivor’s life.
- They may consider suicide.
There are also so many emotions like embarrassment, shame, guilt, anger, feeling defeated, and feeling invisible; both with themselves and/or others who they thought were supposed to protect them or should have known. Also fear – for if the survivor tells someone the truth, would they be believed, ridiculed or shunned?
- They may turn to the wrong people and follow a dangerous path.
After a young person has been abused, if they do not receive the help and support they need from the right people (industry professionals, reliable and responsible parents and teachers) then they could turn to the wrong people and find themselves in even more dangerous situations.
- It can have a massive impact on their mental health.
Sexual abuse can cause mental health issues for example but not limited to;
- PTSD with various expressions depending on the ages of the young person.
- Expressions like nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty sleeping, night sweats (without illness)
- Eating disorders, panic attacks, other expressions like outbursts.
- Changes in behaviour. (Being naughty, violent, needy, seeking attention)
- Depression, anxiety, self-harm
All are some of the many indications of deeper secrets. When the young person’s support network tries to support and ask what’s wrong, the person closes off, tries to change the subject by any means, or remains silent. Communication becomes so difficult when they have so much to say but cannot speak or say what is happening.
Types of Sexual Abuse?
There are 5 types of sexual abuse with brief explanations for insight, the list is not exhaustive.
- Verbal: Spoken or written words, evoke or imply sexual content.
- Covert: This can happen without the victim’s knowledge, being observed, photographed, media stalking, followed.
- Visual: Unwanted and or uninvited exposure to sexually explicit images, sexting, nudity, flashing, performing sexual acts while a non-consenting individual is present,
- Physical: Non consenting touching, fondling, physical restraint, coercion, intercourse.
- Ritualistic: This is blended with some form of spirituality where perpetrators encourage or attempt to justify their action as an act of penance, punishment, or worship the target of their abuse.
How can we help prevent sexual abuse?
An article by the NSPCC published in 2021 on child sexual abuse states that “1 in 20 children in the UK have/are being abused.” And that’s children who are known and reported. So many young people never report or speak of what’s happening to them so your observation of your child’s behaviour is critical to identify if there could be a possible problem, especially if there are sudden changes to your child’s/Young person’s behaviour. Over 90% of young people who have been sexually abused is by someone they know. Which is a very frightening reality.
- Talk to your children about staying safe.
- Learning to talk to your child/young person about body autonomy and their private parts to be kept private. Talk to them about their rights to say no and tell someone.
- Help keep children safe online, monitor their use of social media, and who they are talking to, also what they are talking about.
- Know what to do if you are worried about gangs
- Know where your child is going and who they are going to meet,
- Observe your children’s behaviours around friends, family, neighbours – do not force affections or hugs.
- Listen to them.
- Watch them play.
The dangers of sexual abuse, who is at risk?
Any child from any background can be at risk and it is important to note that both boys and girls can be sexually abused. This can come from a teacher, a coach, a child minder, a family member, a religious speaker, someone who has targets children online, a peer, a friend or a family member. Though there are a small number of children get targeted by strangers or even opportunists who had no previous plan to commit such acts, a perpetrator of abuse is most often known to the victim.
How to help your children if they have been sexually assaulted?
If you are worried that your child/young person may be experiencing sexual abuse and you do not know how to approach your child to ask, then you can call the police to get advice on how to ask your child without putting words into their mouths. The police will advise you what to do for your unique circumstance. You can also call any of the numbers provided below.
If you are young person who has been sexually assaulted, please contact any of the helplines below. No one should suffer in silence.
Support helplines
Thank fully there are organisations out there that can help, where survivors will always be believed and supported.
Childline:
0800 1111
Childline.org.uk
Childline is a UK free helpline that supports children and young people via the phone or 1-2-1 conversations with professional counsellors.
Mind:
0300 123 3393 (Information line)
Mind.org.uk
Mind offer support with mental health or legal help for young people and adults.
Kidscape:
0207 823 5430
Kidscape.org.uk
Helpful information and advice for young people, parents and carers who are concerned about abuse or bullying.
YoungMinds:
0808 802 5544 – Parents Helpline
85258 (Text the letters YM) – Crisis Messenger for young people
Youngminds.org.uk
They focus on the mental health of young people, children and babies, as well as support for parents and carers.
National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC):
0800 800 5000 (for adults concerned about a child)
0800 1111 (Childline helpline- 18 or under helpline)
nspcc.org.uk
They provide advice to young people directly or to adults worried about a young person.
References
Rape Crisis- Types of sexual violence. Available from www.rapecrisis.org.uk
BHSCP- Signs of sexual abuse. Available from www.bhscp.org.uk
FOC- Types of Sexual Abuse. Available from https://firstorlandocounseling.com/blog/2020/1/9/5-types-of-sexual-abuse
Bolt Burdon Kemp- Child Abuse Statistics. Available from https://www.boltburdonkemp.co.uk/abuse-claims/child-abuse/what-is-it/child-abuse-facts-and-statistics/
NSPCC- Child Abuse Statistics. Available from https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/statistics-child-abuse
